Blogging

It makes me sad to say that I don't think that I'm going to do much bloging here anymore.

I really never have the time.
Well, I guess I could make time, if I could break my addiction to MYSPACE.

MySpace has a blogging program, so I think if I have any quick thoughts or what-not that I'll post them there.

There may be a few posts on Blogger, here and there, but not many.

So if ya wanna check out my posts at myspace, come on and visit me at http://www.myspace.com/jeanieralph

More Pictures

Senior Pictures

Ashlee did a great job!
Thanks Ashlee!

Prom Pictures

Picture time!

Releasing the Rage

Recently, I made the decision to attend UAM instead of ULM. I made this decision based upon scholarships and what-not. Ever since I made this decision, I feel as though I've done the right thing, but there is a huge mass of emotions that make me question UAM in fear of never leaving Hamburg. Every time I tried to think about moving to Monticello, picking a major, getting a job, leaving my momma and Mr. Sammy...I get so upset because I feel like I'm talking myself out of my dreams.

For a while I was really bothered by this, but then I started overcoming all of this confusion and realizing that I can do just as well at UAM as I would anywhere else. I was really starting to build myself up...until yesterday.

I'm not going to name any names, but this person really knocked me down.

I've been having a lot of trouble in school here lately with a specific someone, and everyday that I'm around this person I instantly snap into bitch mode.

I went in the office to blow off a little steam about a couple of things dealing with this one person. So I went into the office, grabbed a peppermint (as usual), and start talking to a couple of my friends.

After talking for a little while, another someone walks in. They start talking to us about this and that and somehow the conversation ends up on something that happened 2 years ago. This whole ordeal was a big burden to my mom and me and could of instantly been solved had this someone taken into account my true need. Anyway, these remarks that this person made to me really ticked me off even more. I kept telling this person that I had nothing to say because I'd moved on, and one can't change the past .

When this nonsense was over, the conversation moved onto colleges. I started talking about choosing UAM as my college.
-I'm going to UAM.

-No you're not, you're going to U of A.

-No, I really don't feel like I can handle that big of a change and be that far from home.

-Yes, you are going to U of A. Go up there and major in architecture or art.

-Nope, I'm going to UAM to major in art or psychology. I'm going to make something of
myself. I'm going to be someone.

-So what are you going to do? You'll go to UAM and become a secondary education teacher
and stay here for the rest of you're life.

-No, that's not what I want to do! I want to make something of myself doing something that I
like.

-Well that won't happen at UAM because you can't leave your momma. If you want to be
someone, why don't you go rob a bank? You'll be somebody then. You'll be in the newspaper
and all over the news. I'm not in the newspapers.

-Well ya know what, I am. I'm in the newspaper this week. And you know what for? HONOR
GRADUATE CANDIDACY. I will be someone.

Those are not the exact words, but that's pretty much the whole flow of the conversation.

The only satisfaction that I got out of this conversation was the fact that I got the last word.

However, it really brought me down and put me into another one of those "I'll never amount to anything moods" because that's basically what I was told. I'm so tired of this person dogging on me because I don't want to go to a big ass college and be a doctor, lawyer, or even a RHODES Scholar for that fact. I want to be me. Me. Me. Me.

My Morning Routine

It's been a while since I did one of my random posts, so I figured I would post about some of the randomness that runs through my mind
Today I was thinking about all of the stuff that I use in the morning. When it comes to getting ready, I really don't think I could do without all of this wonderful stuff.

The first thing I do is fix my nappy curls by washing them in the wonderful Pantene ProV shampoo and conditioner. If you have curly hair I highly recommend it! Its pretty cheap but it works great!

After combing my hair out I put just a dab of this stuff in it. Silk Therapy makes my hair soooo smooth and it smells great.

After ST comes the mousse. This stuff, once again, Pantene...is the bomb. It smells great and works well with my hair. The bad thing about it is that it only lasts me like a week or two.

Then it's time for the big finish. Garnier, in my opinion stinks, but it works great. After Garnier, I use the Aussie pump hair spray. This really separates my curls and holds them together nicely.

After my hair is finished I move onto my make-up, which here lately hasn't been much.

I clean and moisturizer my face with these Merle Norman products. Merle Norman Cosmetics are sooo good.

This is the best make up I have ever used. This doubles as a foundation and powder. It's extremely smooth and blends well. Its also great for touch ups.

Slap on a little eye liner on the bottom eye lid, and then finish with THE BOMB mascara. I LOVE INTENSE XXL.
I don't wear eye shadow...so, moving on. Then I break out the bronzer and put a little on my cheeks. I have to do it just right, otherwise it makes my eyes look wop-sided.

My "Getting ready routine" is complete when I bring out my blow dryer, dry my curls, and head on my way.


Probably nothing that interests you at all here, but, as I said, its just all this randomness.

What are your favorite cosmo products?

Parents

It's about 12 30 and I'm sitting here in this house alone thinking of several things.

I'm pretty upset tonight.
Probably over something that shouldn't bother me at all, but for some reason it does.

Tonight i found out that Derricks parents don't like me.
It all started when we were talking about D's brother's gf. I dont know the girl and D was telling me all about her. I casually made a joke "Oh, They like me more don't they?" And he says "no, they say that you don't talk enough."
I thought he was playing so I kept asking him questions about it. And I realized that he wasn't playing.
These people don't like me because I dont talk to them?! WTF
His dad NEVER speaks to me.
His mom says a few things to me every now and then and I speak back just as I would to any adult.

I'm shy. I dont know how to carry on a conversation with 40 year old people that I've only met 4 times.

It really hurts my feelings that these people don't even know me and they judge me. It also hurts my feelings that if this casual convo hadn't come up, I probably would have never know this. I would have been totally oblivious to the fact that they don't like me. The thing is, D had told Chad & Lauren about this 2 wks ago, and Lauren had told Jessica. So everyone knew but me!

Maybe I'm over reacting. I dont know. It just hurts my feelings. I really care about D and I want our families to get along and I want us all to be happy. I want his parents to like me and I want to like them.

It bothers me a lot when I know that people don't like me. I just don't know how to fix it.

New Laptop

I have found a new love...the Toshiba Satellite.

Yesterday I finally got my new lap top.
Thank goodness...I was beginning to have withdrawls from facebook, myspace, and blogs.

Oh, I'm in love.

This research paper is about to give me a stroke.
Its due Friday...and I have not started on it. Outline, Works Cited Page, the Paper!...

I have so much to do, but yet i'm sitting here blogging about absolutely nothing.

Does anyone know anything about the No Child Left Behind Act? Thats what my paper is about. Uhg. Phrmph. Boring.

I've Taken it With Me

THANK GOD!

The play is over and I can have my free time back!

No more Hamburg High from 7:45 am-5:30 pm!

No more stressing from trying to find time for homework, boyfriend, chores, and freetime!

Sweeeet!

You Can't Take it With You

This day came up on me very quickly.
Today was the first day of the play You Can't Take it With You performed by the high school drama dept (twice).

I would have to say that it went extremely well...Beside the facts of broken china and skipped parts.

All in all it has been fun.
I'm so GLAD that there are no more practices!

One more show to go, and we're all done!

The last show is Saturday, 7:30. You should come!