Simply Divine

Blogging

2006-06-12T23:19:00.000-05:00

It makes me sad to say that I don't think that I'm going to do much bloging here anymore.

I really never have the time.
Well, I guess I could make time, if I could break my addiction to MYSPACE.

MySpace has a blogging program, so I think if I have any quick thoughts or what-not that I'll post them there.

There may be a few posts on Blogger, here and there, but not many.

So if ya wanna check out my posts at myspace, come on and visit me at http://www.myspace.com/jeanieralph

More Pictures

2006-05-02T22:34:00.000-05:00

Senior Pictures

Ashlee did a great job!
Thanks Ashlee!

Prom Pictures

2006-04-18T22:20:00.000-05:00

Picture time!

These are a few pictures that my mother took using her wonderful photography skills...not. The real pics that Mr. Sammy took at waiting to be scanned.

This will have to do for now though!

Releasing the Rage

2006-03-30T16:11:00.000-06:00

For those of you who know me personally, you know that I am an A+ honor student all the way. I've always been loved and appreciated so much by my teachers and such. I've always had this feeling that people really believed in me and knew that I had the determination to fulfill my dreams.

Recently, I made the decision to attend UAM instead of ULM. I made this decision based upon scholarships and what-not. Ever since I made this decision, I feel as though I've done the right thing, but there is a huge mass of emotions that make me question UAM in fear of never leaving Hamburg. Every time I tried to think about moving to Monticello, picking a major, getting a job, leaving my momma and Mr. Sammy...I get so upset because I feel like I'm talking myself out of my dreams.

For a while I was really bothered by this, but then I started overcoming all of this confusion and realizing that I can do just as well at UAM as I would anywhere else. I was really starting to build myself up...until yesterday.

I'm not going to name any names, but this person really knocked me down.

I've been having a lot of trouble in school here lately with a specific someone, and everyday that I'm around this person I instantly snap into bitch mode.

I went in the office to blow off a little steam about a couple of things dealing with this one person. So I went into the office, grabbed a peppermint (as usual), and start talking to a couple of my friends.

After talking for a little while, another someone walks in. They start talking to us about this and that and somehow the conversation ends up on something that happened 2 years ago. This whole ordeal was a big burden to my mom and me and could of instantly been solved had this someone taken into account my true need. Anyway, these remarks that this person made to me really ticked me off even more. I kept telling this person that I had nothing to say because I'd moved on, and one can't change the past .

When this nonsense was over, the conversation moved onto colleges. I started talking about choosing UAM as my college.
-I'm going to UAM.

-No you're not, you're going to U of A.

-No, I really don't feel like I can handle that big of a change and be that far from home.

-Yes, you are going to U of A. Go up there and major in architecture or art.

-Nope, I'm going to UAM to major in art or psychology. I'm going to make something of
myself. I'm going to be someone.

-So what are you going to do? You'll go to UAM and become a secondary education teacher
and stay here for the rest of you're life.

-No, that's not what I want to do! I want to make something of myself doing something that I
like.

-Well that won't happen at UAM because you can't leave your momma. If you want to be
someone, why don't you go rob a bank? You'll be somebody then. You'll be in the newspaper
and all over the news. I'm not in the newspapers.

-Well ya know what, I am. I'm in the newspaper this week. And you know what for? HONOR
GRADUATE CANDIDACY. I will be someone.

Those are not the exact words, but that's pretty much the whole flow of the conversation.

The only satisfaction that I got out of this conversation was the fact that I got the last word.

However, it really brought me down and put me into another one of those "I'll never amount to anything moods" because that's basically what I was told. I'm so tired of this person dogging on me because I don't want to go to a big ass college and be a doctor, lawyer, or even a RHODES Scholar for that fact. I want to be me. Me. Me. Me.

Let Me Fall - Bethany Joy Lenz

That is for YOU.

My Morning Routine

2006-03-28T16:12:00.000-06:00

It's been a while since I did one of my random posts, so I figured I would post about some of the randomness that runs through my mind
Today I was thinking about all of the stuff that I use in the morning. When it comes to getting ready, I really don't think I could do without all of this wonderful stuff.

The first thing I do is fix my nappy curls by washing them in the wonderful Pantene ProV shampoo and conditioner. If you have curly hair I highly recommend it! Its pretty cheap but it works great!

After combing my hair out I put just a dab of this stuff in it. Silk Therapy makes my hair soooo smooth and it smells great.

After ST comes the mousse. This stuff, once again, Pantene...is the bomb. It smells great and works well with my hair. The bad thing about it is that it only lasts me like a week or two.

Then it's time for the big finish. Garnier, in my opinion stinks, but it works great. After Garnier, I use the Aussie pump hair spray. This really separates my curls and holds them together nicely.

After my hair is finished I move onto my make-up, which here lately hasn't been much.

I clean and moisturizer my face with these Merle Norman products. Merle Norman Cosmetics are sooo good.

This is the best make up I have ever used. This doubles as a foundation and powder. It's extremely smooth and blends well. Its also great for touch ups.

Slap on a little eye liner on the bottom eye lid, and then finish with THE BOMB mascara. I LOVE INTENSE XXL.
I don't wear eye shadow...so, moving on. Then I break out the bronzer and put a little on my cheeks. I have to do it just right, otherwise it makes my eyes look wop-sided.

My "Getting ready routine" is complete when I bring out my blow dryer, dry my curls, and head on my way.

Probably nothing that interests you at all here, but, as I said, its just all this randomness.

What are your favorite cosmo products?

Parents

2006-03-23T00:29:00.000-06:00

It's about 12 30 and I'm sitting here in this house alone thinking of several things.

I'm pretty upset tonight.
Probably over something that shouldn't bother me at all, but for some reason it does.

Tonight i found out that Derricks parents don't like me.
It all started when we were talking about D's brother's gf. I dont know the girl and D was telling me all about her. I casually made a joke "Oh, They like me more don't they?" And he says "no, they say that you don't talk enough."
I thought he was playing so I kept asking him questions about it. And I realized that he wasn't playing.
These people don't like me because I dont talk to them?! WTF
His dad NEVER speaks to me.
His mom says a few things to me every now and then and I speak back just as I would to any adult.

I'm shy. I dont know how to carry on a conversation with 40 year old people that I've only met 4 times.

It really hurts my feelings that these people don't even know me and they judge me. It also hurts my feelings that if this casual convo hadn't come up, I probably would have never know this. I would have been totally oblivious to the fact that they don't like me. The thing is, D had told Chad & Lauren about this 2 wks ago, and Lauren had told Jessica. So everyone knew but me!

Maybe I'm over reacting. I dont know. It just hurts my feelings. I really care about D and I want our families to get along and I want us all to be happy. I want his parents to like me and I want to like them.

It bothers me a lot when I know that people don't like me. I just don't know how to fix it.

New Laptop

2006-03-19T12:28:00.000-06:00

I have found a new love...the Toshiba Satellite.

Yesterday I finally got my new lap top.
Thank goodness...I was beginning to have withdrawls from facebook, myspace, and blogs.

Oh, I'm in love.

2006-03-13T18:12:00.000-06:00

This research paper is about to give me a stroke.
Its due Friday...and I have not started on it. Outline, Works Cited Page, the Paper!...

I have so much to do, but yet i'm sitting here blogging about absolutely nothing.

Does anyone know anything about the No Child Left Behind Act? Thats what my paper is about. Uhg. Phrmph. Boring.

I've Taken it With Me

2006-03-05T15:26:00.000-06:00

THANK GOD!

The play is over and I can have my free time back!

No more Hamburg High from 7:45 am-5:30 pm!

No more stressing from trying to find time for homework, boyfriend, chores, and freetime!

Sweeeet!

You Can't Take it With You

2006-03-02T22:28:00.000-06:00

This day came up on me very quickly.
Today was the first day of the play You Can't Take it With You performed by the high school drama dept (twice).

I would have to say that it went extremely well...Beside the facts of broken china and skipped parts.

All in all it has been fun.
I'm so GLAD that there are no more practices!

One more show to go, and we're all done!

The last show is Saturday, 7:30. You should come!

Catching Up

2006-02-26T21:19:00.000-06:00

Well, A lot of things have changed since the last time I actually blogged so I decided to use this post to do a little catching up.

Two big things have happened to me since I stopped blogging.

Derrick and I are officially together, since Oct 1, and I have been singing with a gospel group since December. I love it all!

I spend most of my time with Derrick these days and I absolutely love singing with my family.

Wait...Oct comes before Nov...Oh well. Scratch that.

Umm...lets see...What else has happened?

Oh, I have offically joined the MySpace & Facebook fad group. I don't see what the big fuss is though. Blogging is SO much better.

I was cast in the high school play, along with Ginger. FYI: It sucks. I was suckered into this part and I regret it.

I have been trying to spare some time between the play and other things to get a tan before prom. It's not working out too well. I've layed like 5 times in the past 3 weeks. Yes, it's sad.

I don't think I've washed my car since November.
I don't think I've cleaned my room since then either.

I rarely speak to my father anymore. Several things have happened over the past several months, and I just can't handle it anymore.

I did sing in church, though. The first time since my papaw died.

And..........Um, I think thats about it. =)

Not much to blog about these days...

2006-02-23T15:24:00.000-06:00

It is time for a new design, dang-it.

This stuff is getting too dull and dark for me.

Suggestions?

ULM

2006-02-22T18:45:00.000-06:00

Well, it's official. I just got the news!

I have been accepted to ULM and will be starting this fall to pursue a degree in Art, focusing on Graphic Design.

Now if I could just get some good scholarships, I'll be all set!

I'm so excited!

I'm Back!

2005-12-07T12:48:00.000-06:00

Goodness! It's been a long time.

My DSL has been messed up COMPLETELY for almost a month now.
I've been slacking, I know, It's terrible.

The sad thing is, that the only reason it was messed up is b/c we had it hooked into the wall the wrong way. How genious are we?

2005-11-18T14:42:00.000-06:00

Booneville here we come! Good luck Lions!

Amos Lee

2005-11-17T17:12:00.000-06:00

I have now moved on from being completely stuck on Nickelback and Charlie Robinson songs; I am now completely consumed with Amos Lee. His music is definately different. It's kind of a folkish/pop mix. I love it. His songs are so wonderful and sung with a voice so smooth and so pure. Listen to Arms of a Woman and Colors, and I'm almost 100% positive that you'll love his music!

So if you are looking for a new album or something different, this is the one. It's great.

Jeanie & Crews

2005-11-14T17:29:00.000-06:00

Jeanie & Crews
Originally uploaded by jeaniecr5.

More photoshop greatness

My face was broken out like WOAH when I took this picture.

Not anymore!

Rose

2005-11-14T17:27:00.000-06:00

Rose
Originally uploaded by jeaniecr5.

Today Ginger & I attended an Adobe Photoshop workshop...it was a lot of fun! We learned a lot of cool things. This is just one of the little things that I did using one of my pictures in class. It was so easy. I have absolutely fallen in love with Photoshop!

Dear Hollywood,

2005-11-11T16:59:00.000-06:00

When are you going to release another wonderful movie?
I want to go see a movie tonight, but guess what. You have failed to release any movies that might seem to be a slight bit interesting.

Just wondering.

Sincerely yours,
Jean*e

PS: If at all possible, try to make it a comedy or a romance movie. ;)

Moma

2005-11-08T20:27:00.000-06:00

Just thinkin of you, Moma.
Love you & miss you!

Honor Society

2005-11-03T22:03:00.000-06:00

Help!

I was asked to sing at the Honor Society banquet on Nov. 15 & I have nothing to sing!
When I was in the 9th grade I sang "I Hope You Dance," but I kinda feel like that song has been overplayed. When I sang it then, it had already been used at the ceremony once or twice before me!

I need suggestions!

Just Might

2005-11-02T22:30:00.000-06:00

Ya know what?
I really love Mr. Sammy. It seems like I love him more and more everyday.

Yesterday afternoon was a very stressfull time for my mom. She's been going through a lot here lately: big arguments between the 3 of us, Dora's hormones, me and Dora fighting, money...the list goes on and on.

One of the hardest things I've ever had to look at in my life were the tears that rolled off of my mother's cheeks. If you know my mom, you know that she is a very strong woman and would do anything to help anyone. Why does life have to deal her all of these hardships? I try to help her, I really do, but it seems that nothing helps.

After wrestling with the dishwasher to find a leak thatw as flooding our kitchen, she literally breaks down into tears because she couldn't fix it. I think it added on to the list of things that she felt like she couldn't do. She is so hard headed and determined, that any little thing like this really hurts and upsets her. She called Mr. Sammy to come over and take a look and of course he was there within a few minutes. He tells her to call a plumber, and stop trying to be super woman.

The sweetest thing I've ever seen is the way Mr. Sammy loves my mom. He knew that she was upset, and he knew exactly what to say to make her feel so much better about herself. When he left, I heard him tell her how much he loved her and us girls. He told her that everything was going to be okay and that she was going to be his wife one day and that he loved her with everything that he was.

I'm glad that she's found someone she can love and be supported by.

Tonight, on the way home from dinner, a song called "Just Might" by Sugarland came on. This song describes my mother perfectly. As the song played, Mr. Sammy had his arm around Moma and a look in his eye that showed that he really loves this woman. Every now and then he would say things about the lyrics to the song and this is when it hit me that this was my mother's theme song.

I got miles of trouble spreadin' far and wide
Bill on the table gettin' higher and higher Sammy:"They just get higher and higher don't they babe?" Momma: "Yeah, they do."
They just keep on comin', theres no end in sight
I'm just holding on tight...
I've got someone who loves me more then words can say Sammy: "You hear that?"
And I'm thankful for that each and every day
And if I count all my blessings, I get a smile on my face
Still hard to find faith..

Chorus:
But if you look in my eyes
And tell me we'll be alright "Everything is going to be okay."
If you promise never to leave You just might make me believe

Its just day to day tryin' to make ends meet
What id give for an address on easy street
I need a deep margarita to help me unwind
Leave my troubles behind...

Repeat Chorus

I used to believe in use
When times got tough
Lately I'm afraid that even love is not enough

Chorus:
But if you can look in my eyes
And tell me we'll be alright
If you promise never to leave you just might make
Oh, you just might make me
You just might make me believe

This man makes our family happier and happier every day. I love him so much and I'm so thankful for finally having someone like him to take care of my moma and our family.
I love you, Sammy!

TGIS

2005-10-30T10:07:00.000-06:00

Thank God it's SUNDAY!

My goodness, I'm so glad that Saturday is over. I had been dreading that day for about two weeks and it was just as hectic as I expected it to be.

Up at 7
Cutting out tomb stones from cardboard and styrofoam
Sinus infection day 3
At the park by 9:30 finishing up tomb stones and making a plan for our section
Leave at 10:45 and head for the church
11:00 at the church, waiting to do a sound check
11:30 I finally get to do a sound check...a kid lost the keys to the sound room, hence the wait.
11:45 leave the church, and stop by Jessica's house.
12:15 leave Jessica's to get ready for the wedding
1:45 leaving my house for the wedding
2:00 walking through church doors
2:20 singing with a sinus infection, wasn't pretty.
2:30 leaving the church and going to the park
2:30-4 working at the park trying desperately to make our section the least little bit scary
4-5:45 trying to catch a few z's
6:00 back to the trial
Allergic reaction to the dye in my costume
6:00-9:00 a witch at the park, woo how scary. Not.
9:00-10:30 Hanging out with Ray and Liz
10:35 I'm out.

Now it's Sunday, and I'm relaxing. I woke up at 9 this morning, only to find out that I actually woke up at 8. Yaaay, one more hour of relaxation!

My Crappy Weekend has Just Begun

2005-10-28T18:16:00.000-05:00

Well, once again, I thought this was going to be a pretty good weekend.
Guess what, I was wrong.

I'm sick, D and I aren't hanging out, I have no plans, and I don't want to work on this halloween thing at the park.

I went to the doctor yesterday to get some medicine because I have SING at a wedding tomorrow. My throat is so raspy and I'm really thinking about having to call and cancel. I know she's going to hate me so much and be so mad at me. Gosh, I feel like doo doo.

I have not hung out with D since Friday of last week. Yes, A whole week w/o hanging out with him. He stopped by for about 10 minutes for two days, but I either had to go to Hunter's Ed, or they had something to go do. We were supposed to hang out Wednesday, but he forgot or got confused. I really dont know what happened. I think he thought we were supposed to hang out on Thursday, but I had a class on Thursday. When Thursday came around, I wanted him to come over but by the time I got out of that class, it was 9, and we decided that it was too late for him to come over. Thursday night, we decided that we were going to hang out tonight, and I figured that we'd end up going to a movie. Nope, wrong again. He went with some of his friends to some haunted house. I'm not mad about it, but it does kind of hurt my feelings. It's okay though.
Since he's gone, Lauren's occupied, Jess is gone to the movies, and Liz is at the ballgame, I get to sit at home all night with my sister and mother. What fun! Not. Probably another war will break out here soon. At the moment, I'm keeping my distance.

I reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally, really, really don't want to work on this Halloween thing. It's too short notice and there is not enough time to do all that we need to do. I have that wedding tomorrow and I have to be at the park at 9:30 to decorate. Then I have to leave at 11 and go practice that song for Sarah at the church, if I'm even able to sing. I'm so stressed out, I'm really about to just sit and cry. After the wedding, I have to go back to the park and finish decorating, then at 5:30 I have to go BACK up there and work until God knows when, until the whole Trail of Terror thing is O-V-E-R.

Somebody help; do something...please?

Sr. Pictures

2005-10-25T22:34:00.000-05:00

Here are some of the pictures that I took Saturday.
I was so excited to be able to take them, but was greatly disappointed when they came back. These are the 4 pictures from 2 rolls that I kind of like. I'm not crazy about any of them.

I hate that bluejean jacket.

Hunters' Education

2005-10-25T16:53:00.000-05:00

Where shall I begin?

Okay, here's the deal.

Liz and I decided that we were going to take Hunter's Education. For what reason,you may ask, clearly, I do not know. I guess just because my dad has been on me since I was about 10 to take the class and I am just now getting around to it.

The class starts off horribly. We get to the church around 6:20, only to find out that the class started at 6. Yes, 6. We thought the newspaper said 6:30, but OH boy, we were corrected. The man let us know straight up that HE proofread the paper, and that HE knew what it said, and that WE didn't need to be telling him what it said.

Liz and I thought Mrs. Sartin and MJ were going to take the horrid class with us, but they did not sign up, therefore they couldn't come in. So, Liz and I trudged our way into the classroom. Did I mention that this classroom was not insulated, therefore it was pretty much a freezer box. We sat in there for 3 1/2 endless hours, listening to 3 rednecks talk about hunting and "ethicalness."
Keep in mind the words redneck and boredom. Since I can't stand it when country people talk as though they were raised on the back 40 in the loft of a 2 story barn, I had the hardest time paying attention. The illustrations in my book are now adorned with a fashion run way, quotes, and I heart DERRICK...everywhere. On page 27 of my book, you will find an interesting list of things I noticed about these rednecks. Incorrect grammar and off the wall shit that I can't seem to comprehend.

Did you know that firearm is pronounced as farm in southeast Arkansas? Maybe I missed the memo, but I'm pretty sure it's pronounces FIRE ARM, firearm. The man asks, "Who knows what a farm is?" He meant firearm. A little hand in the back is raised and the man asks the child what a farm is. The child replies, "Isn't that where you plant stuff at?" Liz and I begin to laugh hysterically, and the mean old man simply replies, "No, that's a food plot." This guy has no idea that he sounds like an idiot saying FARM when he means firearm.
"Irregardless, of what the situation is, lay your farm on the ground before crossing a fence row." Once again, IRREGARDLESS, do as the man says.
The man reads from the book, and I guess he has a syllabus or some sort. You know when a teacher has this one phrase that they use over and over again? Well, this man had one and its..."The next thang on my thang." Dude, I don't care about any other critter you find on your thang. Keep it clean, and we won't have any problems. Geez.
"I'm trying to learnt y'all this class." Honey, just come with me and I'll learnt you some grammar.
"I have to do this here thang for a second. Y'all just go on about your rat killin'." WTF, I didn't' sign up to kill rats. I signed up to kill deer. Maybe I'm in the wrong class?
I do not understand the complexity of buttoning your shirt before you go into public. There is mechanic in the class, and he came with 1 button on that mechanic shirt buttoned, and the rest were open. Beer belly, fuzzy tummy, and hunters ed...Something is wrong with this picture.

Well, now you have it. A hint into the hell that I have to sit through for 3 1/2 hours.
Yes, pray for me.

Dearest Snoopy,

2005-10-20T15:40:00.000-05:00

For almost 4 months, I have been writing in this blog. I have been writing my feelings and business on this weblog in order to get your feedback and opinions. I need these opinions sometimes to help me make decisions or to decide whether or not what I'm doing is right.

Did you know that there is a thing called a comment link. You click on it, and a window magically appears. Then you type your name into the box labeled as "Name" and you type your opinion in the box labeled as "Comment." Isn't that crazy? Technology these days.

If you don't get what I'm trying to say....Here's the deal.

I know you get on here and read my stuff, Snooper. I know that there are more and more of you everyday. Infact, I know a few of your real names. Some from HHS, yes I know...some from Crossett...oh yes, I know you, too. Teachers, students, nurses, lawyers, custodians...oh yes I know you all. If you have the time to sit and read my rants, raves, and opinions, then you should take two more seconds and type a comment. Stop blog snooping. It's retarded.

Thank you for your time. Good Day.

Ps: This is not for the occasional blog reader. This is for the everday reader that is glued to other ppl's business. Once again: Good Day.

One Year Ago

2005-10-16T17:25:00.000-05:00

One year ago today, something that rocked the whole town's world happened.

I remember exactly what I was doing and where I was. I remember seeing them leave the parking lot, and I remember her telling me that she had to tell me something. I guess I'll never know.

I never dreamed that I'd never see her smile or hear her perky laughter ever again. I never knew her until I was in the 10th grade. We had EAST together and through this class we became pretty close. We teased each other, criticized each other, but we did it in a way that we both knew we were pickin and that we loved each other.

We worked all year long on a project for the Pre-K. I remember when I got my car we HAD to go to the school in my car because she thought my car was just too cute. I remember all of the curses about hating to go over there and working with those kids: finger printing, measuring height and weight...it was all a big mess. We got it worked out though and in the end we were very proud of what the two of us had done.
There were a lot of curse words issued to our cell phone covers, stinky left overs, and lazy people in our class.

Besides working hard on that project, I remember some crazy times we had. I remember going into Mrs. Martin's room and decorating it with sheets of paper that had quotes from Forrest Gump written with a pink highlighter.She loved highlighters. Everytime I was writing a note or working on something, it had some kind of mark from her on it. Jess & Deidra were there too. I remember those pink high heels and how Deidra had to steal them for a second to show us her model walk.

I also remember "working" on the project, but in reality we ended up getting ICEEs and heading towards the state line to take a picture to send to Chelsea's friend in Alabama.

If I could control and turn back time, this day a year ago would never have happened.

I don't understand why things like this have to happen.
I miss you, Whitney.

Sick

2005-10-15T17:39:00.000-05:00

I feel like total crap today.
I hate feeling like this. This morning I woke up and I was fine, but as soon as I stepped out of bed I started feeling woozy. So i layed back down and that feeling hit me. Ya know the feeling right before you puke? Yeah...I got that like 6 times. Gross huh? I got on the couch thinking that would help, but I only doubled over with pain even more. Finally I fell asleep, and I feel tons better now, but I still have that sick feeling.

D wants to go the camp tonight. I really want to go, and I'm going to. I just hope I don't ruin his fun if I get sick.

We had a really good time last night. He gave me my gift from Mexico. It's so pretty. I got a watch, a necklace, earrings, and a ring. So so pretty...& pink too! I love just doing nothing with him. Just hanging out and talking means so much more to me than going out and being around a lot of people. =)
Enough of that.

I guess I'm going to go try and get ready for tonight. Gosh, I hope i don't get sick!

Homecoming 2005

2005-10-14T20:33:00.000-05:00

The ceremony was beautiful. Everyone did such a great job.

I sang! And guess what! I wasn't nervous at all! It felt so great to sing in front of that many people. I wonder how many people were actually there. Over a thousad, I know, but I'm not sure how many more people were there. All I know is that it felt awesome to get out there and sing!

If anyone recorded it, please let me know. I want to make a copy of the ceremony for a keepsake! =)

Tomorrow

2005-10-13T19:14:00.000-05:00

Wow, it's homecoming already.
It just hit me that I have to sing tomorrow in front of about a thousand people. That's a lot of people. Hopefully I'll do okay...The song is kind of high, maybe I won't crack...

Help!!

I'M SO NERVOUS!

New or No?

2005-10-10T20:28:00.000-05:00

So, what do ya think?
I did this design in a matter of minutes, so I'm not too sure if I want to keep it.

Should I keep the new design or do ya like the old one better?

Let me know! :)

What I Do for My Friends

2005-10-08T23:29:00.000-05:00

I swear, I'm so mad right now I could spit.
This whole weekend, I have done absolutely nothing but go to Crossett and be bored out of my mind. For some reason, I just dont feel like I have any reason to go to Crossett and hang out anymore. I still love the people over there, but things are so different now. Everyone is changing and getting older and the things we used to do are no longer fun to us, so we are now just stuck in this rut of boredom.

Tonight, I decided to go to Monroe with Lauren and Chad since we all havn't got to hang out that much here lately. We go in my car and we really had a good time. Red Lobster was wonderful, as usual and we sang and laughed the whole time. Well, leaving Monroe we decided that we were going to go to Wal Mart in Crossett and just hang out and find something to do. As we were just getting out of Monroe, my phone rings and it's Jessica. She's out at BJ's house at a party and she was calling to tell me that Mitchell and Jesse were "f*cked" up and needed a ride home. Of course, I told them I'd take them home, so I dropped what I was doing and carried my happy ass back to Hamburg. When I got into Hamburg, I called Jessica to make sure I knew where to go and she tells Mitchell I'm on my way. It turns out that they were just playing and didn't really need me to take them home. This is when the anger kicked in high gear. I've never talked to Mitchell like that. I was so mad. Was that not the stupidest thing to do? Needing a ride and making your friend drop her plans is not a frickin joke. It's immature.

I'm so tired of busting my ass trying to help my friends when I get nothing in return. When is this mess going to stop? I do people's homework, I haul them here there and yonder, I talk to them when they have no one else to understand them, I give up my time that I could be using to do my homework just to hang out with them and do absolutely nothing. my friends come first, but that's about to come to a stop.I have got nothing in return. I don't ask for favors like that from my friends. Jessica and Lauren are about the only two people that I don't feel used from in some way.

Whew...Felt good to blow off a little steam.

Oh Golley...Family Drama: Part III has now broken loose in the Ralph home. Let's see...what is my attitude for this fight going to be? I think I'll just sit there, let them fuss, and then simply say "whatever." For some reason that always pisses them off even more. Oh, I love it.

2005-10-07T17:12:00.000-05:00

This is my goofball! lol
He's gone for a whooooole week! *tear*

Quick Thoughts

2005-10-07T14:41:00.000-05:00

Derrick is gone to Mexico, and I'm sad.

I don't want to do my stat homework.

I need to shredding this paper for this damn float.

I'm pissed that our principal pissed off 2 ppl that now hate me and Liz.

I really like this song "We Never Loved at All" by Faith & Tim. They are such a beautiful couple.

I need to lay in the tanning bed.

I don't want to practice my all-region music b/c I'm too slow to sing that fast and I have no idea how to pronounce the words

Nooooooo

2005-10-04T19:00:00.000-05:00

I had so many cute pictures from my trip to Memphis, TN...but guess what. I took my memory card out of my camera...and, oh its almost too gruesome to say. They were all erased!!! :(
I wanted to cry!!

Gosh darn it.

Singing

2005-10-02T18:14:00.000-05:00

A while back, I posted about singing. I said that I didn't want to sing w/o my Papaw and that it wasnt any fun for me anymore. Well, last Saturday, I did something that I thought I'd never do again. I sang in church.

All week long, Mr. Sammy had been begging me to sing Amazing Grace, so that he could get a clue as to what my range was. He came over one day during the week, and kept begging and begging until finally I sang a verse or two of the song for him. I really didn't want to b/c D was there, but I went ahead and did it anyway. After I sang the sang, all I heard was "Jeanie you are singing on Saturday...Please, Please, Please sing for me. Please!" I declined all of his pleads, but I should have known that he had something up his sleeve. Saturday came around, and before the family started the second half of the concert, Mr. Sammy made an announcement that he was going to put the band and someone from the audience on the spot. My heart sank, and I knew exactly what he was about to say. I heard "Ladies and Gentleman, I know you probably know this girl and havn't heard her sing in almost 8 years. Well, tonight, you are getting a treat."

He went ahead with the introduction as I walked up to the stage...knees trembling and all. My heart was pounding and I felt like I was going to pass out. I got up there and he asked what key i wanted to sing in...Me? Know what key I sing in? Um..no. So he told me to just start singing and then the group would follow along.

"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound..." Then the piano started. Right when Ricky hit the first key, all of the nerves in my body sort of relaxed and this feeling of comfort came over me. I'd never felt like that before. I sang two verses of the song and I have never had so much fun singing in my life. That was my first time to sing with a live group, and I can't wait to do it more often. The crowd loved it, and it really gave me a great feeling to sing for the people that were my support group while I was singing when I was little.

I never thought I'd be able sing in church again, without my Papaw there, but I did. And I know he was watching me and that makes me feel even better.

Singing without him there, was one of the biggest fears I've ever had. I don't know what came over me, but I'm ready to get back out there, and do what I love doing.

I guess when you stop doing something that you love, it only takes one little hint of it to bring back the want of doing it again.

Photo Blog

2005-09-25T14:45:00.000-05:00

I have decided to start a photo-blog of my own. I'll still post pictures occasionally on Flickr, but the best thing to do would be to check out my photo-blog!

Catching Up

2005-09-22T15:25:00.000-05:00

Wow, it's been a while since I actually posted something.

Where should I begin? How about with this weekend?!
Well this w/e was tons better than the one before. I hung out with him on Friday night and I had a lot of fun. We made a spur of the moment trip to Bastrop that ended with a sweet kiss goodnight and a few other sweet things that took place between Bastrop and here. I had a really good time.

Saturday was also fun. He was sick, so we didn't hang out. I felt so bad for him!! I couldn't think of anything I could do for him, so I figured it'd just be best if I left him alone and let him get some rest! So instead of hangin out with him, Liz, Jessica, and I decided that we were going to just load up and do whatever, whenver. We got to Crossett and hung out for a little while, but it wasn't long before we loaded up and went to 3 Beach. This is the 3rd time I've been down there, and I loved it! We watched, well kinda watched...it was really dark...the guys ride 4wheelers and just hung out and talked to the ppl there. There were like 15 guys and 6 girls. It was fun. We rode down there with his brother, M, RP, and RD. I didn't think we were going to make it b/c they kept scaring us about some witching tree, hang 'em high, and some other something that was really scary! We made it tho and had a lot of fun!

Sunday I went to church with Mamaw and got cornered.."Jeanie, When are you going to sing. Sing soon..blah blah"...and my reply was "OKAY." I like being asked to sing, but don't TELL me what I have to do. Okay!? lol

Mosquito's were rough this w/e! Liz and I had little red dots all over our feet! Talk about itchin!

This week at school has been pretty good. We voted for Homecoming Monday and I was really excited for all of the girls that made it. Most of the ppl that I voted for got on the court! =) After school, Mitch Dog, my sister came over and he watched a movie with me. I fell asleep because the movie was sucky, but I had fun just hangin out with my sista.

Tuesday night I had to sing at a hospital benefit or something that took place at the Jr. High Cafetorium. I think thats what that thing is called. Cafeteria/Auditorium. Yeah. Anyway, that went pretty well. The CD skipped at the begining of The Lion King, but we made it through. I was nervous for some reason! I never get nervous when I sing with the choir. Hm. I think the crowd really enjoyed it. I thought it was so funny to watch all of the people out there singing along with the Ray Charles Medly.

Wednesday, nothing much happened. I just remember working my butt off at school in Leadership and Library, and then coming hom at 3:30 and going directly to bed. I woke up at 7:30 when RD called and then moma and i headed to wal mart at like 9. I couldn't really sleep the rest of the night b/c I had slept so much that day.

Today, I went to Mr. Billy's funeral. It was very sad. It was so hard watching Mrs. Meeks and Daniel. They were the only two that I could see. I just had to look away, it was so sad. The funeral was very nice though. Bro. Gary did a great job. Please keep them in your prayers!

Well, thats all for now. I think he is about to come over and we are going to hang out a little bit!

I promise, I'll start posting some interesting stuff sometime soon. I'm getting out of the swing of things! Gotta get back in!

Pot Suckers

2005-09-20T21:44:00.000-05:00

What the heck is going on?
What happened to the usual ol' cherry sucker?
Or the treasured green-apple flavor? The only entertainment or closest thing to a high that we got out of eating lollipops was trying to keep the green-apple sucker in your mouth, dealingl with the sour flavor and pain in your jaw.

MaryJane flavored candy just doesn't sound all that fittin' to me.
Yuck.

Oh !@#$

2005-09-19T17:03:00.000-05:00

Look closely at the bottom row of keys. Don't we all need one of these every now and then? I know I do, dang it.

Which "uh-oh" would you undo?

Right Here by Staind

2005-09-10T18:37:00.000-05:00

To you:
I know I've been mistaken I know that I do things that probably drive you crazy.
But just give me a break and see the changes that I've made I can't help it.
I've got some imperfections I've wanted this for a while, and I was excited about it.
But how can you collect them all and throw them in my face What did I do to mess this up? Is it me, or is it you?

But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting You do and say little things that mean so much.
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting Little things that wouldn't matter to anyone else, but me.
And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting If you walk away for the second time, I'll still be here waiting, just like the time before.
Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting I don't know how to talk to you because I don't know what you want. What do you want me to say?

I hope you're not intending to be so condescending it's as much as i can take You do your own thing and I guess you expect me to follow. Why can't we just have our thing?
And you're so independent You have your own life, I understand.
you just refuse to bend so I keep bending till I break I can't keep taking this all in. I'm hurting too much.

But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting

I've made a commitment I promised myself, I'd try to make this work.
I'm willing to bleed for you Even though it's early, I'd do anything to make you happy if I really knew that's what you wanted.
I needed fulfillment I need this in my life. I'm tired of being lonely.
I found what I need in you I thought I had found what I was looking for. I thought it was going to work this time.

To me:
Why can't you just forgive me I want to forgive you! I really do. Why can't you just bend?
I don't want to relive all the mistakes I've made along the way You don't have to, just tell me what went wrong.
But I always find a way to keep you right here waiting You know what your doing, so why do you do it?
I always find the words to say to keep you right here waiting

To you:
But you always find a way
To keep me right here waiting Do something, please!
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if I chose to walk away would you be right here waiting I want this to be true & real, not just an image in my dreams.
Searching for the things to say to keep me right here waiting I'm trying to make myself stay. I really am. Please, do something, before we are gone.

I heard this song earlier today and for some reason I really listened to the words. This is for you.

Why? When?

2005-09-09T18:58:00.000-05:00

I'm telling you, it seems that I take one step forward but get pushed two steps back.
I'm tired of making plans and being so excited about them all week long.
I'm tired of having to sit at home when nothing happens when its supposed to.
I'm tired of excuses.

I think things are going good. Then its like BOOM, "What am I thinking? Jeanie, your so stupid to think that you might actually have a chance to make things work." Why? Why? Why?

I can't do things like that to people. And if I even might do it the slightest bit, I try to make it up to them in anyway that I can. Why, why, why?

I feel like tears are just permanent fixtures on my face. If it's not one thing, it's another, I swear.
I feel like this lump in my throat is always there from Friday-Sunday.
I feel like that empty lonely feeling is permanently fixed in my heart.

When, God? When?

Yearbook

2005-09-07T21:29:00.000-05:00

I think it's time to finally announce the new position that has been given on the yearbook staff. This new position is the LA Editor of this year's Lion.

This is a picture of me and my wonderful LA Editor. Jacob is the very unofficial editor that is going to help me through the tough times in yearbook this year. He's going to do everything I tell him to do, when I say do it.

Haha...Yeah right. For those of you that know this lazy little thing, you know that aint none of that gonna happen! Do you know what the LA stands for? Take a wild guess....Lazy...well you know.

It's okay, he can just be there to make me laugh when I'm ready to pull my hair out. He does a good job at that. Also, he's there when I need to release and express my emotions. Sometimes I can't say how I feel so I just draw it on Jacob's arms. He loves those sweet tats.

Jacob..you're lookin' a little cracked out in this picutre. What have u gotten into?

E-mail from Chad

2005-09-07T16:39:00.000-05:00

You're from a small town if....
1. You can name everyone you graduated with
2. You know what 4-H is
3. You ever went to parties at a pasture, barn, or in the middle
of a dirt road.
4. You used to drag "main."
5. You said the 'f' word and your parents knew within the hour
6. You schedule parties around the schedule of different police
officers, since you know which ones would bust you and which
ones wouldn't same goes with the game warden
7. You ever went cow-tipping or snipe hunting
8. You could never buy cigarettes because all the store clerks
knew how old you were (and if you were old enough, they'd tell
your parents anyhow)
9. When you did find someone old enough and brave enough to buy
cigarettes, you still had to go out to the country and drive on
backroads to smoke them.
10.It was cool to date someone from the neighboring town.
11.The whole school went to the same party after graduation.
12.You don't give directions by street names or directions by
references (turn by Nelson's house,go two blocks east
Anderson's,and it's four houses left of the track field).
13.The golf course had only 9 holes. We don't have a golf course.
14.You can't help but date a friend's ex-boyfriend.
15.Your car stays filthy because of the dirt roads, and you
will never own a dark vehicle for this reason.
16.You think kids that ride skateboards are weird.
17.The town next to you is considered "trashy" or"snooty",but
is actually just like your town.
18.Getting paid minimum wage is considered a raise.
19.You refer to anyone with a house newer than 1980 as the
"rich people".
20.The people in the "big" city dress funny, then you pick-up
on the trend two years later.
21.You bragged to your friends because you got pipes on your
truck for your birthday.
22.Anyone you want can be found at either the Dairy Queen or
the feed store.
23.You see at least one friend a week driving a tractor through
town or one of your friends drives a grain truck to school
occasionally.
24.Football coaches suggest that you haul hay for the summer to
get stronger.
25.Directions are given using "the" stop light as a reference.
26.The city council meets at the coffee shop.
27.Your letter jacket was worn after your 19th birthday.
28.You have ever taken a trailer or dog to school
29.Weekend excitement involves a trip to a Wal-Mart.
30.Even the ugly people enter beauty contests.
31.You decide to walk somewhere for exercise and 5 people pull
over and ask if you need a ride.
32.Your teachers call you by your older/younger siblings names.
33.Your teachers remember when they taught your parents.
34.You can charge at all the local stores.
35.The closest McDonald's is in the next town
36.The closest mall is over an hour away.
37.It is normal to see an old man riding through town on a
riding lawn mower.

The ones in bold are the ones that I can think of actually happening here. Crazy, huh?

Spirit Week

2005-09-05T20:50:00.000-05:00

The infamous Crossett vs Hamburg week has finally arrived.
I don't guess I should say finally because it seems like only a week ago, that we were bragging about the game's results last year.

I don't think I will participating in the egg chunking this year. I learned my lesson well last year. If I do participate in any of the heathenism, it will be in a more low profile way. No chunking eggs in front of the house, and then staying up until 1 A.M. talking to the police about what we had done. No sir, been there done that, never doing it again.

I've heard that we are going to win the game again. Whether there is any truth to this or not, we will see. The team we had last year wasn't the greatest and we beat them, and this year the team seems to be a little better than last, so there is a possibility. I'm excited. I wish the game was in Hamburg, because I really don't want to go to the game in Crossett. It'll be okay though.

I hope my car doesn't get egged. What does egg actually do to cars? I know it's probably not good otherwise ppl wouldn't do it. Hm...

Hurricane Katrina

2005-09-01T22:31:00.000-05:00

Total devastation
Broken homes
Broken roads
Broken hearts

Cries for help
Cries from hunger
Cries from thirst
Cries for home

Death fills the streets
Water slowly rises
More people slowly pass in this uncontrollable sea without mercy

It's time to help.
Come together,
Join hands,
Join hearts,
Pray.

Please pray for the victims of Hurricane Katrina.

Our Leadership Class of '06 has made this natural disaster our main focus of this year. We plan to work hand in hand with the Red Cross and possibly even more charities to do what we can to help these victims. Once the project is up and running, I will post more info on how YOU can help us with this project. We may even be able to go to Louisiana or Mississippi and help with the recovery process. But, nothing will be possible without YOUR help.

For more information, please email me and I will let you know as much as I can about suggested donations, drop offs, etc. Also, if you have any suggestions or ideas as to other things that we could do as a class to help, please let me know!

jeanieralph@hotmail.com

One of Those Days

2005-08-31T21:22:00.000-05:00

I had another one of those days today.
I hate these days. I feel so down and sad. I take little things and turn them into big deals and worry over the smallest little things.
At school today, I was fine. I was excited about the afternoon b/c I thought it was going to be packed. But some plans fell through, which I totally understand & am fine with, and I ended up staying at home all afternoon. My mom was in one of those moods that she has after working off of graveyards and dora was in som kind of mood. I don't know what twisted her drawers up.
So I decided to dodge the battles of "familyhood" or whatever that's called and just went in my room, layed in my bed, and cried. I couldn't really tell you what I was crying about. I think it was a mixture of things. Disappointment is really I think the main thing. I get disappointed in myself a lot. I get so down on myself sometimes and I feel like I'm such a loser.

Why do I feel like this?
I think I'm crazy, I really do.
God, I hope it's just hormones.
On days like this I drive myself nuts.

I have a big problem with over analyzing things. I can take the smallest thing and dream up all of these things in my head and if that smallest thing doesn't come through, I get so freakin down by it. Over analyzing things is what leads to my disappointment a lot of the time.

I'm so glad I have this blog to express all of my feelings in. I can't keep a journal b/c i always misplace it. Most of you are probably like GOD this girl is so sad and stuck on herself. I'm sorry, this is what my blog is for. It's for me to express my opinions whether they are about myself, my feelings, or the world. Whatever they are, this blog will show them.

Tonight

2005-08-27T17:35:00.000-05:00

Well, this is it.

I'm ready to go to Monroe with D, C, and Lauren. It's 5:30 and I didn't have to be ready until 6:30, so for now I'm just hanging out thinking about tonight. I'm so excited! Tonight's gonna great!

Details later......maybe!

It's all Coming Back to Me

2005-08-26T21:20:00.000-05:00

Tonight I went to the football game against Magnolia to take action shots for the yearbook. It was pretty interesting, even though I didn't know what was going on. I'm totally illiterate when it comes to football. Thank goodness I had Mary and Kaley down there with me for a little bit. I think Kaley was just about as clueless as I was. Then my L.A. Editor came down and hung out with me for a little while. O, how I love my L.A. Editor, Mr. Jacob.

As I was walking back and forth between the field and the bleachers, I noticed a lot of junior high kids, and it brought back so many memories. I remember the "Omg, I'm so mad at her. She said she didn't like him!" and the "Um, will you go see if he wants to go out with me?" Then if he happened to say yes, it lasted maybe 2 days. How well I remember those days.

I kind of wish I could go back to those days. It seems like such a long time ago, but it was only like 4 years ago. We've all grown up so much since then. I remember going to games, dressed to a T, and now it's blue jeans and t shirts all the way. These days seem like there is much less drama, but a lot more stress. Today we don't have five minute relationships. It kind of feels like we are all looking for someone to actually care for. Back then we really didn't know what stress was but we had a good idea of what drama was. That's all Jr. High was for me and my friends. Jr. High was all about 5 minute relationships, and then hating your best friend the next week because she was going out with your ex-man.

Time has flown by so fast. I remember the first day of Kindergarden and I remember going to Sunday School when I was like 4. Seems like just yesterday I was up in front of the church singing Jesus Loves Me or graduating from Kindergarden.

It's so amazing how you go from bad haircuts and horrible wardrobes in elementary, to make-up lines and drama in Jr. high, and then to the relaxed whatever attitude that i have today in High School. I guess after this year, I'll be entering a new stage of my life, and to me that's pretty scary.

Dang, time has flown.

Cuz I'm freeee!!

2005-08-25T16:43:00.000-05:00

I'm out, I'm out, I'm-out-of-Psych!!
Heck yeah!

No binder
No scary teacher
No grade dropping because of a nit picky thingy.

Actually, the class wasn't half bad, but I did get put in Library.
Relaxation, here I come.

My day has been great.

I'm So Excited

2005-08-22T20:28:00.000-05:00

Besides another rant or rave, I have decided to post some things that I am excited about. Some of these events will happen this week, others won't. Once again, this is just a random thought thing.

I'm ready for this w/e. I was asked to dinner & a movie, again. =) I'm very excited. I've wanted this for a while.
I hopefully will be removed from the wretched Psych class. I'm telling you, if I have to stay in there, there will be trouble. If you are walking down the hall during 2A and see someone sprawled out in the middle of the hall boycotting Psych you will know who it is.
I'm extremely excited about moving to an apartment or living with my aunt in Monroe. It gives me a sense of independence, even though Moma will have to stay with me for a week. haha
I'm excited about watching Saved by the Bell in the morning before school: hense the title of this post. I swear I've watched every one of them. This morning the episode when Zack has Kelley's baby brother with him at school was on. Loved it.
I'm excited about Christmas.
I'm excited about singing this fall.
Did I mention I'm excited about this weekend? haha
I'm excited about yearbook.
I can't wait until Christmas. Hopefully that new bug will be waiting for me. If not, I'll settle for something. An iPod or a Laptop would be nice.
"I'm so excited, I'm so excited, I'm.........so.........scared...." Okay, Saved by the Bell. I'm cheesy, okay?

Wow

2005-08-19T16:51:00.000-05:00

I had always planned on just sliding through my Senior year. I said "I've stress all through high school and even in junior high, i'm takin it easy this year." I don't know what I was thinking. I guess I was just hoping for good luck and getting a great relaxed schedule...Guess what. I didn't.

I was put in psychology with 4 or 5 other Seniors that were simply put there because they did not pass the end of level test. I feel that in a psych class, one should be surrounded by people that he or she can effectively communicate with. The kids in this class don't take this subject seriously and are only in there to get a credit and just to have a class that block. That burns me up. I want to major in psychology in college, I really do. But I don't want to be surrounded by complete fools in high school and simply waste time in a class. Also, I am completely terrified of Coach Sartin. I don't understand him, and I'm pretty sure he won't understand me. I may be being judgemental, but I have heard. I don't think that I can handle someone that has a smart remark for everything and instead of giving a good answer to a student's question, they smart off and go on about their way.
I don't learn like that, I don't communicate like that, and I don't want to be in an environment like that.

I'd much rather take an AGRI class before I went back to psych. That's just how bad it is. For those of you who know me, you know I hate classes that waste time and don't really get anything accomplished, and for those of you who know what Agri is like, well, you get what I'm saying. I'd rather learn to weld than to be in this classroom. Okay? Anything, please!

Other than wacked up rules, the day went okay. We no longer can have drinks or food in class. The food part doesn't bother me at all, but the drink part is the worst. The milk served in the caf. is terrible. Lukewarm milk...Doesn't get any better than that huh? And not to mention that if I were to get a carton of milk, it would be about the size of a child's fist. No more concessions during lunch, can't buy cokes or food of any sort due to Gov. Huckabee's raid on Good Health. I don't think anyone should tell anyone what they can and can't eat. It's our right to choose if we eat healthy or not. It's our right to get the right nutrition or not to get the right nutrition. Hey folks, if we know we are eating the wrong things, it's our right to be over weight. If YOU want to do something about it, YOU change it.

As for you Gov. Huck, shove it. I'm very angry with you right now. Some people are satisfied with who they are. I want a damn water at school okay? And it would be nice to have a damn sprite every now and then, okay? Us being fat is not because you sell granola bars out of a plastic box, it's because we don't get off of our asses. I'll be the first to admit it.

Also, We get one free bathroom brake before it goes into D-hall. How stupid is that? "Okay, sit in your chair all day long and you get to choose. Parch or piss on yourself. Your choice." I could understand if a kid was just constantly wanting to roam the halls, but hey, if i gotta pee, i gotta pee.

Aside from all of the complaits, I am excited about a few things. I'm happy to be taking choir again, and I am excited about Yearbook, Leadership, and having a LAB to do homework without the hassle of sitting in study hall. Sounds to thechnical, huh?

But that's all for now. I'm going to take a nap.

Nooooooooooooooo

2005-08-18T22:13:00.000-05:00

I know I've said that I'm ready for school to start again, but....WTF was I thinking?

It's 10, and I should already be in the bed; I have not one ounce of sleepiness in my body. This is going to be an interesting night. The night will probably end up with Moma in my room, having one of our talks, with her scratching my head and just talking to me until I go to sleep.

I got several things accomplished over the summer, but there were some things that didn't come through for me.
DID HAPPEN:

Finished C-Pep: I wanted to quit half way through, but I didn't!
Cleaned my room from top to bottom: Didn't want to do that either but my w/e plans were threatened
Acquired a fairly nice wardrobe: Thanks to the Internet
Stayed with my dad a lot: Enjoyed it a little, but not much. I did do it though! That's what matters!

DIDN'T HAPPEN:

Another one of those nights that happened. I dreamed and dreamed of those nights and finally got one, but I wanted many more to follow this summer. Yes, another heartache.
Didn't get a new convertable bug...I know I know, I'm spoiled and stingy, but they said I could get one, dang it! I'm completely satisfied right now though, other than my car is falling apart. But I still love it cuz it's DaBug.
Didn't get my ACT scores in, so I could praise myself over how well I had done. I know this is probably NOT true, but hey it's okay to hope!
Didn't take Senior pictures that I was SO excited to take

The list probably goes on in either category, but it's late and this is all i can think of.

I did get my schedule today, i had a couple of classes that i did not want to take. I got rid of AP Euro...Who wants to take that? "Not I!" said Jeanie. I had a few surprises. However, I did get to drop a few classes and take Concert Choir. Woo! I didn't get to take Newspaper though!! =( tear
It's okay Ging...I'll help you out! I've got a lab which is just a fancy shamsy word for Study Hall for Smart Kids and I'll skip out and come help ya with whatever ya need! LoL!

Well, anway.
Now I'm off to listen to Tracy Chapman and try to go to sleep! lol Old School.
Goodnight!

Seark Sunset

2005-08-17T21:34:00.000-05:00

Don't you just love sun sets? I think they are one of the most beautiful things one can see on this earth. They are so relaxing and real. I like watching sunsets and just letting my mind wonder to other worlds and think about all kinds of things.

I took this picture out in Milo. I never thought something in Hamburg could be this gorgeous and entertaining.

Sunsets kind of remind me of a painting. If one were to paint a sunset, it would probably be an easier subject to paint because the clouds are their own. They could make the sunset look as bright and intricate as they possibly wanted. I've always been told that clouds in a sunset were God's brush strokes.

There are more pictures of the sunset on Flickr.

Pictures

2005-08-14T13:56:00.000-05:00

Well, that was a fast trip.

I got home yesterday around 3:00. I was so tired. I went to bed fairly early and woke up only a few minutes ago. I'm still pretty sleepy and zoned out, but I thought since I was up, I might as well post pictures. So if ya want to, you can check out my FlickR and look at the few pictures that I took.

2005-08-12T22:09:00.000-05:00

These r just a few pics of our hotel.

More to come! Goodnight!

Here I Go Again on My Own

2005-08-12T11:38:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm off on yet another adventure.
Lauren & I have decided to drive to Hot Springs and hang out this weekend. I'm excited b/c that means shopping at the best store in the world: Shoe Carnival. I'm also excited because this is the first time that I'll have been able to just go and do as I please when I get there. We are going up there with her family for a Logging Convention, but we are taking DaBug, so we are just gonna do what we want to!

We might even get to hang out with our Popeye, Michael, since we never get to hang out with him anymore now that he's a big college boy.

Maybe my car will stay in one piece, at least until we get off of the interstate?! I don't know what I'll do if that thing flaps down while I'm driving. Kshhhhhhh plunk plunk ksshhhh flob flob kshhhhh...That was a recreation of the terrible noise we heard yesterday while my car was having a fit. I'll be very cautious and listen closely for any sounds that might indicate any sort of jacked-upness that DaBug may have to offer again!

Well that's all for now!
I hope everyone has a great w/e!
It's time for me to go....Shoe Carnival, here I come!

Never Fear Chad is Here

2005-08-11T22:56:00.000-05:00

Holy crap...

What a day, what a day.

Okay, it all started when Jessica & I decided to go to the sandbar. Immediately Dora & Carrie wanted to go. I'm so glad that they did. We actually had a good day as far as getting along and hanging out together. It was pretty fun.

Well to get to the sandbar is STRAIGHT funked up gravel. I'm talkin about dips in the road everywhere. For some reason, the whole time I've had Da Bug, I've fooled myself into thinking that it was invincible. Boy was I wrong.

On the way back from the sandbar, things got a little rough thanks to LOGGERS that screwed up the road! My car had to venture over rocks the size of a softball and sharp as heck, I suppose. Right before we got to the highway, we heard something dragging or flopping under my car. We kept goin and rocks just started spraying everywhere. We had the windows down and we thought we were under attack or something!

So once we got on the highway, we stopped and checked. Jessica said "Jeanie you have a bad flat tire!" Dora & Carrie got out and determined that it was NOT a flat, but yet the whole undersomething of my car was HANGING down, just draggin. The only thing that was running through my mind was "holy shit we are out in the middle of nowhere and we are going to get carried away by anyone that drives by." I was freakin' out. They were all laughing & i was laughing to keep from crying. We sat and wondered what the heck we were going to do for like 5 minutes and then it came to me to call Clint Allen. Woah buddy, I felt like that was a big mistake! Dude hung up on me! I guess he thought I was kidding! I called back and BEGGED him to come help me! He was in a mood and said that he would have to get gas before he could come and then he got all grumpy b/c as he was leaving he got pulled over! After telling Clint to just forget it, carrie crawled under the hood and hit the thing hard enough to get it jammed back into the place we thought it was supposed to be!

We leave, being very brave and extremely careful! We pass Nikki and carrie calls her to see if she has any duct tape...Yeah, that's right: Duct Tape. Arkansas, I know, but it was the only thing I could think of. She's all like Yeah! Well she turns around to give up Duct Tape and when she gets out of her car she has a handful of CDs! I'm like WTF and she said "Yall said yall needed some tapes." URGH!

After explaining what happened, she crawled under the car and gave us this big long hoorah about what was goin on...Needless to say she was wrong.

Later on today, Lauren and I went to Crossett, in her truck by the way, to eat pizza with Chad, her bf. I luv Chad, I really do. lol I asked him to come look at it and he drove all the way from Crossett to look at it! How sweet!!

First we had to find some kind of flash light....This is what we came up with.

Chad got down under the car and began looking around. This big ass plastic thing was just hangin there. He got down there and I felt really bad for makin' him lay on that nasty concrete, so I brought him an air matress completely accessorized with white twinkle lights. But he later got shocked by them b/c one of them was busted and his arm just happened to touch the one with naked wires.

He worked hard for about 10 minutes.

Then the distractions came in.

But within no time, he was all finished.

About 20 minutes later, we discovered a big big big bug on the porch.

Once again, Chad was a hero.
He was rewarded well.

Thank you, Chad! You're our HERO! ;)

Wishing

2005-08-11T14:23:00.000-05:00

Alone again tonight
Without someone to love
The stars are shining bright
So one more wish goes up
Oh, I wish I may
And I wish with all my might
For the love I'm dreaming of
And missing in my life

You'd think that I could find
A true love of my own
It happens all the time
To people that I know
Their wishes all come true
So I've got to believe
There's still someone out there who
Is meant for only me

Chorus:
I guess I must be wishin'
On someone else's star
It seems like someone else
Keeps gettin' what I'm wishin' for
Why can't I be as lucky as those other people are
I guess I must be wishin'
On someone else's star

I sit here in the dark
And stare up at the sky
But I can't give my heart
One good reason why
Everywhere I look
It's lovers that I see
Seems like everyone's in love
With everyone but me

(Chorus)

Why can't I be as lucky
As those other people are
Oh I guess I must be wishin'
On someone else's star

Someone Else's Star-Bryan White

I love this song. It explains how I feel so well. I don't feel like this all of the time, but today is just a day that I've been thinking about this a lot. I'm not looking for LOVE, I'm just looking for someone that I can confide in, in other ways than a best friend. I have some of the best friends anyone could ever ask for: J, L, & M :)

Sometimes, I think I might of found it and have a chance of going through with it. But it either ends up never being played out or just forgotten.

I just hurt so badly when I am alone. I'm so tired of feeling this way.

I want my wishes to come true, but then again don't we all?

Not Bad at All

2005-08-10T16:32:00.000-05:00

Okay, Okay...
That post yesterday, my fear, and my fits were totally unnecessary.

Going to the doctor was actually not that bad! The doctor was very nice and he explained everything so that I could understand what he was talking about. Most of the stuff he was saying, I already knew from Sophomore Biology, but a little review never hurt anyone.

All I had to do was sit on that table thing with the foot in the air. lol I was up on the table and momma looked at my leg. I noticed her kinda staring at my leg and I was like what?! She said, did you shave? Oops! I figured that I would of been wearing blue jeans, but as I was rushing to get ready, i just slipped some old boy shorts on and went.I only shaved around that one ankle. I thought she was never going to stop laughing at me.

While he was looking at my foot, he made it bleed. I didn't feel it, but he said, "oh well ur foot is bleeding." Stupid me looked up and at my foot. I sat up on the table, my eyes started watering and my mouth was getting really dry. Momma said my face turned white. She had to stand up and fan me b/c I almost passed out! That was the only bad part about going, other than the wait!

I'm still scared of needles, but that little fit yesterday was not worth it at all. It wasn't that bad!

Doctor

2005-08-09T13:06:00.000-05:00

Needles
Needles
Needles
Needles

Those are the only things going through my head right now.
I have to go to the doctor :(
I'm dreading this so badly. I HATE going to the doctor.

Something is wrong with my foot, bad wrong, and I have to go get it looked at.
I'm scared. I dont want the doctor pushin on my foot in the hurt spots, and I sure as hell don't want a needle stuck in them.

I can't handle blood and needles. Just thinking about them right now makes me woozy.
I'm willing to bet when I see a needle, I'm going to pass out.
I know it.

I don't want to go! Why can't this mess just go away by itself? I've been using medicine...whyyyy do I have to go?!?!? I've thought these same exact thoughts every time that I can remember going to the doctor. I've only been to the doctor 2 times and not throw a HUGE fit. I dont know if I'm going to show my ass this afternoon or not. I HOPE i can just deal with it and get it overwith so that I can walk right again.

Needles :( Yuck.

I have to go now. Wish me luck.

Got Mozilla?

2005-08-07T21:37:00.000-05:00

Okay folks...
If you are viewing my page with MoZilla..You're doin' good. My page should look as close to perfect as it's going to get.
However, if you are using Internet Explorer, it's probably lookin' all jacked up!

Give me some time, and I'll fix it so that it will look great in either!

For now, the best thing to do is look at it with Mozilla!
It's the BOMB compared to Internet Explorer anyway!

This is it!

2005-08-07T15:45:00.000-05:00

Okay, this is it.
The new design.
I dont know what's going on with my header, but hopefully everything is lookin' okay! I'll try to fix it, sometime.

If you are having any trouble viewing my blog, or if anything is wacked up, let me know and I'll try to fix it!

Thanks!

Home

2005-08-07T13:55:00.000-05:00

Last night Jessica and I decided to go to Crossett and hang out. We figured at least some people would be uptown and that maybe everyone was tired of going to the rodeo.

We were wrong.
No one was uptown. After riding around (looking for a funky looking tree) and wasting gas, we decided to head back to Hamburg.

Naturally, I thought "Oh well, we'll make a couple of loups around town and then go on home." Buth, we met some people we knew at Sonic, and talked to them for a little while. Then, as I was walking back to my car, Garrett & Kraig pull up. I have been friends with these two boys since birth practically, but this was the first time I had talked to them since school was out.

It's amazing to me how comfortable I feel around my Hamburg friends, when I didn't even know it. When I go to crossett, I feel comfortable, but I just feel like I can say and do anything around here and they won't care cuz "it's Jeanie." I've really missed my friends from Hamburg this summer. I really havn't made an effort to try to meet up with them or anything.

After talking to them for a little while, we got into the discussion of being seniors. We started talking about how we were all gonna have to keep our senior drama-free. I think the majority of our group could do it, but there are 2 or three, that just can't chill out. Instead of worrying about drama, we're just gonna party and live it up! lol (Well, that's Garrett's philosophy, anyway.)

This whole summer, I've been excited about being a senior. Now, I'm not so exicted. After talking to them, I realized that we have all grown up, a lot and that things aren't going to be the same with us. I'll probably never see half of my class again. That's so sad b/c I love my class! I really do. We have a great class.

I guess that's just part of life, though. Growing up and moving on. It can get kind of frustrating and hard.

Well, I'm off to seel YEARBOOK ADS that I have totally forgotten about.
Anyone interested?
Dang it.

In Need

2005-08-05T00:58:00.000-05:00

Well, this is it for tonight.

If you're one of those late night blog readers, sorry that it looks so crappy right now.
I'm working on it.

Don't worry! I have my OLD template saved, so that if I F this one up, I can always go back.

I only have one thing to say before I go to bed.

I NEED GINGER!

Leaving

2005-08-04T18:05:00.000-05:00

I have been sitting at this computer for over 5.5 hrs working on a new design for my blog. Things are going as I expected: not smoothly.

By the way, I said "screw it" to the beach theme. I found a cute cat that i'm going to use. It's not the best blog design, and I'll probably hate it when i'm finished, but IT WILL be loaded so I can just have a change until i get the next one done! ;)

I think my back has a permanent crick in it. I don't see how people can sit at a computer all day long w/o walking about or anything!

I'm now going to attempt to leave this thing, and go get ready for a night on the town!
Crossett, that is. Woo! Big Ol' Crossett!

Have a good night!

And the new design is...

2005-08-02T20:13:00.000-05:00

Beach!

I've decided to wait on the Hollywood...maybe next time.

For now, I'm going Boho.
I've got a few images that I can't decide on to use.
They all have the colors that I like!
Let's see.

#1: Purple, Pink, Orange, & Yellow

#2 Kinda pinky

#3 More purple, pink, & orange

There are a few others but these are the top three.
I'm going to ATTEMPT to do this.
Lord, have mercy.

New Design

2005-08-01T13:05:00.000-05:00

I think it's about time for a new blog design.

I love this one, but it's getting kind of old.
I've only had it for like 2 months, I know, but I get bored with the same colors and stuff!

I can't decide if I want the FaBuLoUs GiNgEr to make me a FaBuLoUs design, or if I want to make my own.
I'm getting pretty lazy with the whole web design thingy here lately.

I think I want something like vintage Hollywood or a cool beach scene with pink, orange, purle, yellow...not sure though!

Suggestions anyone?

Singing

2005-07-30T09:35:00.000-05:00

Today is one of those days that I hurt all over and am extremely emotional.
When I get like this, I take a couple of Aleve, lay on the couch, put it on GAC and sing my heart out.
I love singing. I don't why, but it calms me down and sort of takes me away.

Even when I was a kid, singing was something I did to entertain myself and relieve myself from everything I had to deal with back then: Daddy's alcoholism, Papaw's death, being alone.
I'd sit in my room, write songs, and record them on one of the 50 kareoke machines that I had. Looking back the songs were dinky, but it didn't matter to me then.

I used to sing on Sunday morning for Church, travel around and sing at church revivals, I even used to sing at dance recitals and stuff like that. Back then it gave me an escape and I loved doing it and letting other people hear me.

Now, for some reason, I feel like it's sacred. I dunno what's up with that.

I've had plenty of chances to make CD's. Never went after them.
I know several people that can pull strings and probably get me to where it'd be nice to be.
I want to, but then I don't.

When I'm feeling bad, I sing and while I'm singing I can imagine myself being anywhere and doing anything. Kind of like in a music video. Have you ever noticed that a lot of the lyrics to a song don't coincide with what's going on in the video? It seems random, in some ways. That's how it is with me.

Weird? I know. I don't care, it's me.

Midnight Crises

2005-07-29T19:01:00.000-05:00

Ooooooh.
I'm gonna scream....
It didn't help.
I'm so PO'd.

I have spent the last 2 hours trying to fix my computer by getting help through that HP Online Chat: the thing where you talk to associates and they tell you exactly how to fix your problem.
every time that I have gone on there, I have had complete success in figuring out what was wrong with this computer. However, this time was different. I wasted 120 minutes of my life talking to a complete idiot. Nothing at all was accomplished.

For example: "As I restart the computer, when should I press F8 to lock my computer into safemode?" I say. "When you restart," the idiot says. NO SHIT. Again...I asked, "When should I press F8 or CTRL?" He replies, "Yes." UUUUUURGH!

I need this thing to work so I can work on more web designs. I need this thing to work, so I can minimize the size of my pictures in order to be able to load more online. I need this program to work because...I dunno, I just want the damn thing to work!!!!

On a different note:

I'm home alone. I'm scared half to death. I keep hearing things. I keep looking behind me.
I've watched too many Law & Order: SVU's. Every light in the house is on, TV's too. I'm never this scared. What's going on? I'm thirsty, but I'm not going anywhere. Guess I'll just sit here and parch.

I don't really feel like moving anyway b/c I'm sun burned, extremely bad. I went swimming at a sandbar today from about 12-3. I wasn't paying attention to the time, and yeap...I got a little red.

I have a lot of things on my mind. The main one at this moment, besides my pity fits, is someone...Some of you may know who that someone is. Are things ever going to work?

I'm mad, scared, sunburned, thirsty, and extremely emotional tonight.
The rest of the night should be interesting.

Enough complaining for now.
Goodnight & Sweet dreams

Random Thought

2005-07-27T13:45:00.000-05:00

As I was brushing my hair, moussin' it up, and hair spraying it stiff, I began to think about hair, in general. I can only think of two ways that hair can be used in a positive way.

"Your hair is absolutely gorgeous!"
"Thank you so much for donating your hair to the Make A Wig Foundation."
(¿Just an example?)

Can you think of any others?
I mean I've only been thinking of it for a couple of minutes, but hair. What are some positive statements? I can only think of two.

I mean, think! There are so many negatives about hair.

"OMG, I just found a hair in my food!"
"Gross, his back is covered in hair."
"That poor old guy has no hair."
"There's freakin' hair all over me!"

There are others, I know there are.

Just a thought.

Down to the River

2005-07-26T10:16:00.000-05:00

I'm starting to get out of the habbit of blogging.
I know it's terrible.
I know I have time for it, but most of the time it's that I'm just too lazy to get up and actually do it.

My "love my computer moods" come and go.
Maybe this is just one of those moods where I'm trying to convince myself I have something better to do. When in all actuality, I really don't.

Anyway.
Shall I go into details of the past couple of days? I guess so. I have nothing else to do.

Okay.
Well day-before-yesterday Lauren and I ate at Mazzio's and hung out most of the day. Later that afternoon I ate at Fiesta Linda's with Ginger. It was delicious, as usual. I think I could eat there ever day. Really those were the only highlights of my day.

Yesterday was interesting.

Lauren and I ate at Fiesta Linda's (Yes, I ate it again. Chill out, it's good!) Right as we were leaving, Katy calls and wants us to go the Moores Mill/Morris Mills/something like that. Greg was down there swimming and she didn't want to go alone. So we went with her. We got down there and I thought that only like 3 other people were going to be there. I was wrong. There were like 10 other people down there.

They begged and begged us to get in the water, but we refused. Well, Greg picks lauren up and chunks her in the water. About 10 minutes later, I got thrown in, too. I was pissed. I had blue jeans and a good shirt on, and there I was sitting in the freaking nasty river. Oooh, I was so mad. I didn't want to get out b/c I didn't want to feel icky and nasty from dried river funk, so I just toughed it out.

I really didn't swim that much, other than the times when I was trying to swim back to safety after being dragged into the current with that Mr. No guy. Remember him? Yeah, he was there. He really didn't mess with me that much. I don't think he understood how mad I was about my freakin' clothes. I think he started getting a little aggrivated with me too because I was kinda ignoring him and paying attention to other things. He made one remark about why I was holding onto something that really irked me. Oh well, let him talk.

I wasn't supposed to stay long, but after being thrown in, I was like what the heck. So I relaxed when I could and just hung out talked. While I was sulled up, someone gave me a little splash and told me that I better smile; so, that made me feel a little better. lol
We all hung out a little longer, and most of the people there left b/c they had to go to a birthday party or something. We didn't want to go, so we just hung out at the river a little longer and then we left.

Little moments from yesterday made that day seem worthwhile.All in all, the day was pretty good.

It Feels Like Home to Me

2005-07-23T18:06:00.000-05:00

As much as I hate to admit it, it actually feels good to be home. Back to the norm of sleeping late and just hanging out and being bored. Don't get me wrong, the vacation was good, but going and going gets to you after a couple of days. Waking up early, walking all day long in the sweltering heat, and getting ready for this and that wears ya down.

We got home around 2:00 yesterday afternoon. The drive on the way home was extremely awkward b/c Moma and Sammy were fighting, and not a single word was said for 5 hrs! It was excruciating. They are fine now, I suppose.

Tonight I went to Lauren's house thinking that someone was going to be there. But of course, the only people there were Lauren, Chad, and me. It was okay though, I guess. I think I'm getting used to this. It still hurts though. Jessica & Clint Allen came over for a little while. Clint Allen was driving me insane. Tickle fights and fussing about my camera...I just wanted to take some good pictures! DANG! WOO DANG!

Then Duck came in, and the mess was gettin a little deep so I decided to leave. LoL He was a little on the intoxicated side. Too, too funny.

Anyway, I'm in the process of scanning and TRYING to load pictures into my photobucket thing. It's making me mad though because I click SUBMIT before I starting typing this post and it's still not doing anything!

I'm excited about tomorrow. Ginger and I have decided to go eat at my fav. restaurant around here! Fiesta Linda..WooWoop. I love that place. I've missed it over the past week! Sad, but true.
Anyway. I'll continue trying to load pictures! Check in on my FlickR and maybe they will be there!

2005-07-21T00:12:00.000-05:00

I craved these all day and finally got my treat as we were leaving silver dollar city. It was so great. I've been outside all day! Jessica and carrie left today. They were really homesick. We fought all last night but we are okay now. We finished our golf game w/o the rain this time. I'm getting kinda ready to go home. I really miss mitch 4 some reason. I miss my mamaw 2. I need lauren!Lol goodnight!

2005-07-19T23:47:00.000-05:00

Today jessica and i went shopping for a couple of hours.When we got back we ate at gilley's. The fajitas sucked. We watched the baldknobbers tonight n they were okay. This trip is starting to suck and p me o cuz it seems like jessica would rather talk on the damn phone than talk 2 me. If she talked 2 me as much as she's been on the phone things would a great. This wont happen again.

Day one

2005-07-17T23:06:00.000-05:00

We made it! We got here around 4 something. I'm moblogging so my posts will b fairly short. We made really good time. It only took up about 5 hrs 2 get here. I miss home already. I want to go c my michelle, ray ray, and jayroo. We have been 2 tired to get out right now so we ain't sure what all we can get into. Ps i'll only b posting one or 2 pics a day but when i get home i'll post'em all!

On the Road Again

2005-07-17T15:58:00.000-05:00

Well, I have about 20 minutes to post before we leave.
I just woke up so I'm still a little dummied out right now.

I'm all packed and I'm very proud of myself for the limited amount of luggage that I have. My sister has a suitcase about 3 feet by 4 and it's full. Is that not rediculous? My suitcase is about 1.5 feet by 2.5; it's packed to the brim, BUT it is full of everything that I needed as far as clothes go. That's still really good for me though! I have 2 extra bags, also. But theya ren't big at all. One of them just has my shoes and the other has my cd's and cdplayer and all that extra junk that I forgot to pack and remembered this morning ;)

I'm not sure if we are going to have enough room for everyone's luggage. A family of 4 and then two guests...in a minivan; EEK! I'll probably end up holding my two extra bags; that's okay though. They aren't that much. Muahahaha I feel for Dora though. She's got like 3 extra bags and they are PACKED FULL. Muahahahaha >:)

I'm in a better mood; can you tell?
I'm also hung up on semicolons this morning. I don't know whats up with that.

I feel bad for out dogs. We have to leave them here and they have never been left anywhere alone for more than a week. Well BoBear has, but Peanut hasn't. I was about 8 when we left BoBear though. I hope Zack comes by and hangs out with them a little bit. He needs to hang out with Rafiki the cat too, because she's my buddy now.

Weeeeeell, it's about that time.
I guess I'll be seein' ya (In all the old familiar places). I love that song: Etta James/Billie Hollidae? Who was it? I forget.

Anyway! The minivan is to arrive at any moment and then Jeanie will have left the building!
It's time to crank up the BarlowGirls in my cdplayer and take yet another nap.

See y'all later!
I'll try to MoBlog when I can!

So Long

2005-07-16T18:25:00.000-05:00

It's 11:07 & this is my 2nd blog of the day, but I just can't help it!!
I don't want to leave my computer!!
Isn't that sad??

Oh well, I'm really gonna miss this. What am I going to do when I get bored? Which I know I will. I can always MoBlog, but its not as wonderfully simply as this. I guess I'll live.

Right now I'm burning CD's. Still on the first one since my burner is running unusually slow today.

I'm finally packed. Yeah, that big ordeal I made, only took me about an hour. After i packed, I laid on the couch..wanting, needing, yearning for another nap and the phone rang,rung,whatever. It was Jessica. She came down and we watched some of Princess Diaries, but we got distracted somehow and we decided to go back to her house. After she finished packing we wanted to go to Crossett SO BAD. But we didn't. We just didn't have the energy.

What's up with my Flickr Badge? It's really pissin' me off because it's not showing my pictures. I'm thinking about just making a button (Another idea stolen from the marvelous Ginger).

I'm now burning CD #2. The last one i did was my last "burner plus" creation that came with this program. So now this cd will burn at super slow speed.

I think I have a virus on my computer. Pop ups LOAD my screen sometimes. I dunno what happened to that super duper pop up blocker we had.

Well I guess this is the last of my post tonight.
I'll be going to bed now, waiting for that early time to role around...Then I'll be off to Branson. Woowee...

Negativity

2005-07-16T08:26:00.000-05:00

I think I just want to retreat to my bed for eternity.

I took the ACT this morning and my brain feels like its going to explode.
I hate that test with a passion. This was one of the hardest ACTs that I've ever taken.

I was just attempting to fix my spelling errors on my design. (That no one has mentioned by the way.) But I got frustrated and stopped. I'll try again when I regain my strength and sanity.

I still have to pack, but I'm too tired.
I really don't want to ride/drive 8 hrs to Branson tomorrow morning.
I really don't want to get up at 7 a.m. tomorrow either

I swear, I have not had a summer.
Thanks to baby sitting, cpep, and other nick nack reason for getting up early, my hopes of sleeping until 12, all summer long are completely demised.

I still have to pack, but I don't want to move.
Someone want to do it for me?
I'm not even sure if I have enough good clothes to pack. I mostly have ratty Tshirts that look like they are about 100 years old.

In a way I'm looking forward to Branson, but in other ways I'm not.
I'm not looking forward to going up there and watching couples be couples or listening to couples talk as couples. I'm not looking forward to seeing size 2 girls running here and there in skimpy outfits for which I loathe them. I'm not looking forward to being with Dora, with no escape for a week solid. I'm not looking forward to walking around in the 492 degree weather in a water park.

On a positive note: I am looking forward to watching musicals and shows that I plan on attending. I'm also looking forward to shopping, and looking forward to getting the hell out of Hamburg.

I'm going to miss going to Crossett when I get bored. I haven't been there in almost a week...I miss my buddies! Of course I'll miss my Hamburg friends too, but I never see them during the summer. No one comes uptown, and I don't like going and going and going here there and yonder just to hang out for a little while.

I'll also miss blogging. I've become almost obcessed with this habbit.

I still have to pack. Shit.
I still have to make my list so I won't forget anything, even though I know its inevitable.

I guess I'll go pack.

Goodnight

2005-07-15T18:38:00.000-05:00

It's about 11:30 and I am sitting here DREADING 6:30 tomorrow morning. I have to wake my ass up, on a Saturday, and get ready to go to SCHOOL. Once again, I must march back to prison, AKA: HHS to take the most irritating test, ever. You have no idea how much I am NOT looking forward to this. I'm seriously thinking about just not going...My mom would probably kill me.

DOWN WITH THE ACT!!!!

Also, on my way home from Monroe, I was thinking about what I could post for today. Then I started thinking about my design..I realized that "DEVINE" is actually supposed to be "DIVINE."
Lord have mercy. I'll have to change that.

Not tonight though, I'm way too tired.

Goodnight, all.

Yesterday's Drama

2005-07-13T18:40:00.000-05:00

Since nothing interesting happened today, and I havn't posted over the past couple of days, I've decided to do a "flashback" post and post about yesterday.

Yesterday started at 8:30 a.m. on the dot. I was up and ready to go get my nails done. After BEGGING my mother to go with me, she finally agreed and we ventured to Crossett. We get there at 9:30 and I didn't get into the chair until about 10:00. It only took about 20 minutes for the woman to do my nails, plus they look great, so that made up for the time that I had to wait. I was back at home by like 10:45, which was good because I had to get ready for Sr. Pictures! I was SO nervous about them! I don't know why. I LOVE taking pictures, but for some reason I was almost petrafied.

When I got to the school to take the pictures, I walked into the cafeteria and it hit me. I'm offically a Sr! I almost wanted to cry!

The pictures turned out not to be as bad as I thought they were going to be. I kind of got pissed off in one, because the lady was just about to take my picture and this girl came running up actin a fool. She was waving at me, with her hand in front of the camera. It destracted me, and was totally uncalled for, therefore I was pissed. Other than that they were okay. I don't guess I really needed my momma there.

After the pictures, Lauren and Jessica came over. We hung out for a little while, and then they went home.

I went to the river to hang out with Momma and Mr. Sammy. Zack rode up there with me. Shortly after we got there Dora came up there, and it all was all hell from there. It all started when she got back to the camp from "riding around" in the blazer. She was actin stupid and made the remark that when she died it would probably be in a car wreck. Then she laughed about it, thinking it was cute and something to be laughed at. I immediately jumped on her case b/c I don't play with stuff like that. I have lost several people in my life due to car wrecks, and that kind of stuff upsets me. I instantly thought of Whitney and how NOT funny that whole situation is for me. I went histerical on her. Well she started mouthing back: cursing and calling me names. I didn't stoop that low, but I let her know how it was going to be when it came to stuff like that.

Well, of course, Dora didn't get in trouble, but Moma jumped all over my case. Mr. Sammy walked up and was like "I don't want to listen to this on vacation, girls." I didn't even think what I was saying when I snapped back "I don't want to listen to Dora's bullshit either, but I dont have any other choice." Dora and Moma laid in on me again and I just threw my hands up in the air & said SCREW THIS thenleft.

Havn't been on good terms with either one of them since. Oh well.

I had a right to defend myself and stand up for something that I believe in. I don't care what they think. If I have something to say about a serious issue like that, I'm going to say it. I don't hold my tounge on ignorent shit like that.

The Bolins: Southern Gospel Music

2005-07-10T16:55:00.000-05:00

Tada!
After many curse words and a major headache, I finally finished Mr. Sammy's web design. I made this for the family's southern gospel singing group.The site is still under construction as far as info goes,
but you can still go over and look at it!

HTML

2005-07-10T07:00:00.000-05:00

I've been designing Mr. Sammy's website and I decided to take a break before I chunked this computer out the window. I am soooo ticked right now. I've been working on this freakin' design for 2 dang days and have accomplished almost absolutely nothing. Creating posts & linking are screwed up somehow, or maybe I'm doing it wrong since I don't know what the hell I'm doing.
Ginger's been helping me through email, (Thank Goodness, I dont know what I'd do w/o her!) but I guess I'm having a severe case of brain fartidous b/c I can't figure out anything that I've been told to do.

URGH, I'm so mad right now I could just scream!!

My Top 5

2005-07-08T14:43:00.000-05:00

As I was surfing the internet today, I came across this picture. This picture reminded me of how much I just adore shoes. I like this picture because the shoes just jump out and above all they are pink!

I decided that I would post some pictures of my favorite shoes:
five to be exact.

1) This is my absolute favorite pair of shoes right now. Crocs aren't much to look at, but let me tell you, they are the most comfortable pair of shoes I have ever worn in my life. They are so squishy & light. I recommend to everyone, no matter who you are or what you do, that you go out and buy a pair of these. They are kind of high, but they are so worth it! I have worn them everyday since I bought them. They're great!

2) This is my 2nd favorite pair of shoes: YellowBox, of course. The little emblem thing has rubbed off, due to the fact that I wear them almost every time I go out. It's like I purposely try to find something that matches brown, just so I can wear them. They are extremely comfortable. The platform is not too high, but not too flat. They mold to your feet & are just too, too cute.

3)This is the third most wonderful pair of shoes that I have. These shoes are so comfy. They mold to your feet instantly. Even though they are thin & seem to look rough and not-so-soft, they actually are. I like these shoes because you can wear them any time, anywhere. These are Costa Rica shoes by Reef.

4)These shoes are not the most comfortable shoes, but they are far too cute to not be worn. I like these shoes because they look cute with almost any outfit:dressy, casual, doesn't matter. You can't really see the detail of them because my camera phone is a piece of shiz. It's okay though; you get the general idea.

5) My mother bought these shoes for me. My mother never buys or suggests to buy me shoes just out of the blue, but the day we bought these, there was an exception. She bout these so that I could wear with my prom dress...Um, I think not. These shoes are so cute and different, but I wasn't about to wear them with a prom dress. Just before giving up on finding prom shoes, we finally found a nice pair for me to wear, but I still got to keep these. I really don't have anything that matches these except for like one shirt. That's fine though because these shoes are so different that I have no other choice but to love them! hehe
I really don't know the brand; I just know we got them from Payless.

"There's an awful lot you can tell about a person by their shoes."-Forrest Gump

A Cure for Boredom

2005-07-07T14:36:00.000-05:00

Jeune
intelligEnte
creAture
indepedaNt
aImable
heurEux

Try it!
(This is French)

Gone to the River

2005-07-03T11:23:00.000-05:00

I guess I'm going to go ahead and go to the camp this w/e. I kind of don't want to because I can't get ahold of Jessica or Lauren. They probably went and did something w/o me, nothing new. We were supposed to hang out this w/e at the camp, but my mom had a fit yesterday so we didn't get to stay up there last night. We wanted to, but NAAAW.

Brad, Mr. Sammy's son is supposed to be up at the camp helping. I am too, but as you see i'm not. LoL. I guess I could go up there and bother him..hmm.

I'm bored. I say that I'm going to camp, but I'm still debating I guess. What am I going to do up there, other than work? I dont wan't to work. I'm lazy. haha And I dont feel good.

I know if I stay home I'll have to clean house...I think I'd rather be on the river. Heck iono what I want to do.

20 minutes later...

I guess I'll be going to camp now. Bye

Bye Bye TagBoard

2005-07-01T05:14:00.000-05:00

I just deleted my tagboard off of my sidebar. That dang thing caused so many pop ups! Pop ups are the most annoying thing I think I have ever experienced! I can't stand being interrupted with something that I'm doing, but I be danged if a freakin pop up does'nt jump up everytime I try to do something to my Blog. URGH!

But I took care of that. Wiping the source out completely is one way of taking care of those pesky pop ups! The tagboard was cool, being able to leave msgs back and forth, but the annoying pop ups shadowed its good qualities!

So long TagBoard!

It's a Heartache

2005-06-30T13:12:00.000-05:00

Yay! My mom finally allowed me to order some clothes! I've been begging her ALL summer. I told her that I REFUSED to go on vacation w/o new clothes!

I was so excited about this cool shirt that I had picked out...but then...(it's almost unbearable to speak of)....They ran out of stock! Guess what the shirt had on it!

Oh, my heart is broken...
Nah, not completely.
The thought of knowing that my other cute clothes are on the way, somewhat relieves my heartache!
haha

Corinthians 13: 1-13

2005-06-29T11:26:00.000-05:00

Recently I was thinking about some things about love. I'm not talking about mushy husband/wife or bf/gf love. I'm talking about love in general. So many times, I've been in situations where I have seen other people being put down and disrespected. Everytime I see that, I just think to myself how disrespectful and rude some people can be, and it amazes me. There are some people that put themselves up for criticism because they act like complete fools, but a lot of the time people are criticized because they are different. They aren't as popular, they dont believe the same things as you and I do, or they just have qualities that they can't help. Why can't people just try to show love to others that they wouldn't usually accept? I found this video about what love is, and while I was watching it I thought about a conversation that Jessica and I had about love and respect for others. Check it out.

Haloscan

2005-06-28T19:51:00.000-05:00

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

No Nap Today

2005-06-28T05:12:00.000-05:00

This has been the first day in about two weeks that I have no had a nap after CPEP, and actually, I am very proud of myself! I didn't get anything done around the house, but I'm still glad that I did stay awake...at least I didn't get griped at for being in the bed all day! It's a start...I'll tackle my CHORES (DU DU DUUUU) tomorrow...*sigh*

Church Friday Night

2005-06-28T02:46:00.000-05:00

The singing friday night went well. Unfortunately these two pictures were the only two that were taken and i didn't even take them! Ms. Jessica took these of herself for some reason. She decided that she was going to make a record and that these pics were going to be on its cover. Lol the lights on the stage were too bright and when i tried to take pics of the band everything was a big white blur!

Kittens

2005-06-26T08:04:00.000-05:00

This morning I woke up to a grody, grody scene. After waking up, I walked into the living room. I sat down on the couch and noticed Bo Bear, the poodle, walking in and out of my mom's room. I noticed that the door in my mom's room that leads to my sister's room was opened. I got up to see if that is were he was walking in and out from. Sure enough, it was. Dora's room was the room that the kittens were in. It was bad. He had killed all five of them. It was so disgusting & sad. I called Momma, and she called Zack and made him come down and get rid of them. We had hoped that Dora wouldn't be home for a while, but about 10 minutes after we got rid of the kittens, she came home. We had to tell her and so now she has been crying all day. Poor kitties :(

What Happened?

2005-06-25T11:50:00.000-05:00

This morning I woke up after having a really strange dream. I dreamed that I was a little kid again, but I had been time warped from the late 80s/early 90s to today. My babysitter sat me down in front of the TV and MADE me watch cartoons, for some odd reason. I was used to watching the good ol' TV shows. The ones that weren't all about technology or blowing someone to pieces, so when she turned on the TV I was totally frightened and confused. The cartoons and TV shows from today were playing, Yu-Gi-Oh, Dexter's Lab, and all of those other goofy cartoons that absolutely make no sense.

That is all that I remember from my dream, but it got me to thinking of the old shows that I grew up watching. I realized that I really miss those shows! They were so great, and now all we have are crazy cartoons that are all about computers and violence. What happened to cartoons that are visualize a little girl or boy's dream world?

See if you remember these great shows/cartoons!

Under the Umbrella Tree

Strawberry Shortcake

Rainbow Bright

My Little Pony Tales

Fraggle Rock

Care Bears

The Smurfs

The Old School Garfield

Eureeka's Castle

(Just to name a few)
Remember how great these were? What happened?!

Birthday Countdown

2005-06-25T07:13:00.000-05:00

Does anyone want to take us home?

2005-06-25T07:02:00.000-05:00

These are some of the kittens that one of our cats had. We are desperately trying to find them a new home.

Fishing

2005-06-23T05:07:00.000-05:00

Today I didn't go to CPEP. I slept in and didn't get up in time. My mom and I decided to go fishing since it was too late for me to go to school! I hadn't been fishing in forever! We had a lot of fun.

This morning the fish weren't biting that much, but we caught and kept about 6 fish. We caught a variety today. LoL. My mom caught two turtles and a big ol' shiner, and I caught a goul & 2 grinnle. We threw those back though. We didn't care about what we were catching. We were just having fun. The whole time we were there we were being stupid and laughing at all of the rediculous things we were catching. Unfortunately, we took the dogs down there with us, and they were being brats so we had to leave and bring them back to the house.

Right before dark, we went back to the camp and started fishing again. This time we took Jessica. She caught more fish than I did! She caught like 5 and I caught 2 this time. I don't even think my mom caught 2 because she was too busy baiting us up and taking fish of our hooks. LoL. We had fun though!

Simply Divine

Blogging

More Pictures

Prom Pictures

Releasing the Rage

My Morning Routine

Parents

New Laptop

I've Taken it With Me

You Can't Take it With You

Catching Up

ULM

More posts to come!

I'm Back!

Amos Lee

Jeanie & Crews

Rose

Dear Hollywood,

Moma

Honor Society

Just Might

TGIS

My Crappy Weekend has Just Begun

Sr. Pictures

Hunters' Education

Dearest Snoopy,

One Year Ago

Sick

Homecoming 2005

Tomorrow

New or No?

What I Do for My Friends

Quick Thoughts

Nooooooo

Singing

Photo Blog

Catching Up

Pot Suckers

Oh !@#$

Right Here by Staind

Why? When?

Yearbook

E-mail from Chad

Spirit Week

Hurricane Katrina

One of Those Days

Tonight

It's all Coming Back to Me

Cuz I'm freeee!!

I'm So Excited

Wow

Nooooooooooooooo

Seark Sunset

Pictures

Here I Go Again on My Own

Never Fear Chad is Here

Wishing

Not Bad at All

Doctor

Got Mozilla?

This is it!

Home

In Need

Leaving

And the new design is...

New Design

Singing

Midnight Crises

Random Thought

Down to the River

It Feels Like Home to Me

Day one

On the Road Again

So Long

Negativity

Goodnight

Yesterday's Drama

The Bolins: Southern Gospel Music

HTML

My Top 5

Does anyone want to take us home?